Time and time again, it has been brought to my attention that life is not meant to be lived in isolation, but in community. Sometimes, this realization comes in the somewhat painful experience of being by myself with no one to spend time with. Other times, I relearn this important fact from being around other people. And oftentimes, it's a combination of those two opposing but related experiences of finding myself alone, then being with people, and then leaving and finding myself alone once more...like this weekend...
Friday evening, a notice went up in the elevator. My paraphrase version of the notice read something like this "Due to an emergency gas leak, the gas to the entire building has been turned off for an indefinite period of time. We will begin working on fixing the leak on Monday." My initial thoughts went along these lines: "No gas for the entire weekend? What the...how am I going to cook?" Trying to be the optimist, I thought it was not entirely bad. I could use this chance to try some new restaurants and maybe expend all those groupons that I have accumulated over the months.
Saturday noon, I was driving back from somewhere in Virginia, hungry, but couldn't find anyone to go out to lunch with. Spontaneously looking for lunch dates at 12:30pm on Saturday turned out to be not such a good idea. My lunch then consisted of potbelly's roast beef sandwich on wheat (which according to sign is actually multigrain) over Juno, the movie about the teenage girl who got pregnant, had the baby, gave it up for adoption, and through the process learned more about love than most people. Yep, I set myself up for highlighting my own solitude.
Saturday evening, woke up after passing out at the end of the movie. At 7:30pm, I did not even think of trying my chances of finding someone to go out to dinner with. No, instead I checked out all the "now" or "instant" deals on groupon and living social. Finally, found an decently rated Italian restaurant somewhere north of me in the District, hit the buy button, and hesitated. The thought of spending money to sit at a table and eat by myself just suddenly become extremely unappealing, even though I would be spending less money with the groupon. I toyed with the option of ordering pizza and watching something while I ate, but thought that it would take way to long and I just watched my one and only netflix DVD earlier during the afternoon. In the end, I decided to go anyways, since I need to eat, and I can just savor and enjoy the food with undivided attention. Turned out, parking around the restaurant was a beast, and after about 20 minutes of circling around, I was about to turn around and go home. But lo and behold, an open spot appeared just as i was about to give up. As I was wondering aimlessly through the allies, however, I thought once more about how different this would be if there was someone else in the car with me.
Dinner turned out to be alright, nothing super amazing, but it wasn't bad. My veal was tasty, but while the deep fried breading started off delicious, it become a heavy chore toward the end. I had to take intermittent breaks to check facebook or gchat on my phone to pace my eating. Again, this dinner would've been different if I was there with someone else, having a nice conversation over the food.
Sunday noon, lunch at church is always a great extension to the Friday night fellowship. Same place. Same friends. Different food though. Rather than the home cooked meals on Friday, the church lunch is catered from some Chinese restaurant somewhere, and there was often not quite enough food to satisfy. Today, however, was different. Either there a slightly lower church attendance or according to the ladies of the church, they had asked for extra food today. At any rate, there was plenty of left overs for seconds, which made my stomach happy. And the fun and exhilarating conversations only served to elevate my mood. A couple of us ended up planning to go out to dinner again for some bibimbap later.
Sunday evening, even though none of us was hungry from the unusually generous servings of the church lunch, we still went out for bibimbap at 5pm. I still ate a lot and felt really full afterwards, not just my stomach but also my soul felt satisfied. To share a meal is to carry out in community one of the most common and essential actions that directly relates to our own survival. When I eat with someone, we are not not only "hanging out," but also sharing life in a more fundamental way by being human together. Of course, there are many other more intimate ways to "be human" with someone. Yes, I am talking about sex, but also about starting a family. These, however are more exclusive ways, but sharing a meal is probably one of the best inclusive way to do life with others. Anyways, all this is to say, I thoroughly enjoyed those exchanges.
-----
Life is meant to be shared, whether it's with that special someone, or with friends and family. I had a discussion with Annie, my sister, about this not too long ago. Having grown up abroad and blessed with the chances to travel a bit, Annie and I both enjoy visiting new places and trying new things, especially local foods. Annie actually got to visit parts of Japan, France, Austria, and Amsterdam in the Netherlands on her own. While she enjoyed those trips by herself and cherished the experiences, Annie doubted that she would do more trips alone again. First of all it's not quite safe for her to travel all by herself, and even if it is, it doesn't feel as safe. Two is pretty much always better than one when it comes to safety. Also, she touched on the fact that all these fun trips, the sights and the food, are just not as good when they are not shared with the people you love. Sure, it's easier and cheaper to do all this on your own, and when you take on your significant other, family, or friends, there's a lot more planning and compromise involved. And it's just plain more expensive, which means less trips, shorter durations, and less money to spend on stuff. But the memories you create, the pictures you take, and the entire experience including the food, is just infinitely better that it makes those lone journeys seems completely bland and tasteless.
Okay, she didn't exactly say all that, but that's what I took away from the conversation and also this past weekend. Life is meant to be shared. In fact, I think a life worth living is one that is shared with others. Otherwise, what's the point? I can take the most amazing photos, but without anyone to admire them with, what's the point? I can cook or order the most delicious food, but without anyone to eat and enjoy it with, why bother? I can read the most amazing book or watch the most amazing show or movie, but without anyone to digest and discuss with, it's just another thing I do to kill time.
And once I have experience the small and great joys of sharing life with others, it becomes all the more lonely and painful to go back into isolation. All good things must come to an end. Dinners get eaten. Trips end. People go back to their separate homes. And sometimes, I find myself feeling void and empty afterwards, because I want more. Life is meant to be shared. With family. With friends. And yes, with a wife.
While I like to think I know somethings about marriage, I also know that there are a billion things that I don't know and won't ever learn till I get there, if ever. However, I think being single has been teaching me a lot about what marriage means, or at least some of the things that marriage means. Paradoxically, I, along with many other human beings, sometimes learn the best about something I want exactly when I don't have it, because when I finally get that something I often end up taking it for granted. Learning the value of always having someone there always happens when you don't have anyone. Once you have someone there all the time, however, you start missing all the times when you only have to think about me and myself and no one else. Probably some of the most common complaints that couples have against each others are the never ending responsibility that comes with having someone in your life all the time. She's always talking. He's always pestering me about this. She never leaves me alone. And so the list goes on. On the flip side, as someone who's single, the problems are the opposite. I wish I had someone to go home to. I wish someone is there to listen to me. I don't like cooking for myself. Why don't I have anyone to do stuff with?
Life is meant to be shared. Otherwise, our lives degenerate into a miserable and lonely existence that barely resembles life. We are meant to live in community. It's real, it's true, and it's life.
Monday, June 20, 2011
Thursday, February 25, 2010
The Gospel and a class on pornogrphy
This semester, I am taking a sociology class that looks at the sex industry. So far, we've looked at the various kinds of prostitution, and tonight we moved onto pornography. Originally, the class was going to devote two session on this subject. However, due to the class cancellations from the snow storm two weeks ago, the professor decided to combine the two sessions into one extended session tonight. We were also expected to do two weeks worth of readings and write a paragraph commenting on each piece of reading. Therefore, I read five different pieces of reading on porn and the porn industry today. Three of them were actually scholarly articles, one was actually four chapters from a book for general audience on porn and the industry, and lastly a chapter names "How to Make It as a Porn Star" from porn superstar Jenna Jameson's controversial book, How to Make Love Like A Porn Star.
I don't know if it simply the amount of readings (80-100 pages) or the amount coupled with the subject matter, but I felt pretty drained from doing the readings, especially because I was reading and writing comments from the morning when I got up all the way up to when I left for class at 6pm. Of course, I took breaks in between, and met up with a professor, apart from that I spent a good part of my day immersed in reading about porn and the industry and writing comments about what I read.
So I arrived at class having spent the whole day reading and writing, and one of the questions we started with was on our feelings about pornography in general, since one of the readings dealt a decent amount with the anti-porn arguments, how they are framed, and whether they are convincing or not. According to the studies cited, we have yet to find an actual causal connection between pornography viewing and social problems such as violence against women, domestic abuse, and other harmful behavior that we often associate with pornography viewing. While I am against pornography (for obvious reasons), I also find it difficult to support the arguments against porn if there are no scientific evidence supporting it. Furthermore, the same reading had dismissed religious/moral arguments in a sentence saying something along the lines that those arguments only work for people who believe in God or follow a particular religion.
Anyways, several people started voicing their opinions, and most of it was something like...I got no problem with porn and here's why, or at most I see some potential dangers, but other than that it's not a big deal. Suddenly, I felt completely isolated, and if I say anything, I would most likely be labeled: conservative, religious, or what have you.
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. I am sitting in a sociology class with three male students, one transgender, and about 8 female students that is on the sex industry in George Washington University in Washington, D.C. It's probably about as liberal, secular, and feminist as you can get. It's probably not too hard to tell that I am probably the most conservative person in the room. Yet I just wasn't prepared to make that known or be labeled as a conservative. I didn't want to have to explain that I was a Christian, and get further labeled as a "religious conservative". No, I went to Wheaton College and studied sociology there. I am suppose to be well rounded...Christian and firmly rooted in Biblical principles but intellectually open-minded and willing to discuss the difficult issues. Integration of faith and learning. I am not conservative, not at Wheaton. I liked to think of myself as moderate and that it depends on the issue. And most importantly, I didn't want to have to tell them that I am a Christian and that I believe pornography is wrong, but it's something that I and many other Christians continue to struggle with (yes, I said it). I didn't want to sound like a hypocrite, and I didn't want to explain my reasons.
To make the not-so-long story shorter...I ended up saying that I was against porn, and someone asked why I was against it. I said I am a Christian. And that was that. No one said anything more, and I guess I was entitled to my opinion just like they all are. But I don't know, maybe I got labeled tonight, or maybe I was labeled couple classes ago but I just didn't know it. Or maybe there was no label at all. I might find out in the coming weeks, or I might never found out.
But I know that tonight, I experienced a tiny bit of what it meant to defend my faith. Of course no one really challenged me, so didn't really need to "defend" it. But I did have to say I believe in something that seemed unpopular or counter-cultural because of my faith. It wasn't hard, but it wasn't easy either. I cared what other people would think of me if I claimed to be a Christian, and I cared how it might label me as something that I am but I hoped and thought I wasn't.
I felt ashamed of the Gospel, because I didn't want to claim it and consequently show my own brokenness and desperate need for it. They wouldn't understand...was my thought.
And they probably don't understand, or maybe they do. I don't know. But if...just if I was labeled tonight as something because of what I said. Maybe, hopefully, there will be times in class that I can talk as a Christian by say things that they didn't expect "Christians" to say. Maybe, just maybe, they can start to understand that those labels aren't that accurate anyways. Maybe there are some Christians who don't say or do the stereotypical Christian things. Maybe it will change even a tiny bit of their understanding of the Gospel.
Maybe I need to understand and come to terms with my brokenness so that I can truly embrace the Gospel in more profound ways, so that there is no shame to claim the Gospel of Christ. I need to learn that I would rather relabeled as a Christian, a follower of Christ, than to pass off as someone else.
LORD have mercy on me that I may live without shame for your Gospel.
That I may follow the Apostle Paul when he said, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."
That you would grant me grace to boldly claim the name of your Son before men and women.
I don't know if it simply the amount of readings (80-100 pages) or the amount coupled with the subject matter, but I felt pretty drained from doing the readings, especially because I was reading and writing comments from the morning when I got up all the way up to when I left for class at 6pm. Of course, I took breaks in between, and met up with a professor, apart from that I spent a good part of my day immersed in reading about porn and the industry and writing comments about what I read.
So I arrived at class having spent the whole day reading and writing, and one of the questions we started with was on our feelings about pornography in general, since one of the readings dealt a decent amount with the anti-porn arguments, how they are framed, and whether they are convincing or not. According to the studies cited, we have yet to find an actual causal connection between pornography viewing and social problems such as violence against women, domestic abuse, and other harmful behavior that we often associate with pornography viewing. While I am against pornography (for obvious reasons), I also find it difficult to support the arguments against porn if there are no scientific evidence supporting it. Furthermore, the same reading had dismissed religious/moral arguments in a sentence saying something along the lines that those arguments only work for people who believe in God or follow a particular religion.
Anyways, several people started voicing their opinions, and most of it was something like...I got no problem with porn and here's why, or at most I see some potential dangers, but other than that it's not a big deal. Suddenly, I felt completely isolated, and if I say anything, I would most likely be labeled: conservative, religious, or what have you.
I guess I shouldn't have been surprised. I am sitting in a sociology class with three male students, one transgender, and about 8 female students that is on the sex industry in George Washington University in Washington, D.C. It's probably about as liberal, secular, and feminist as you can get. It's probably not too hard to tell that I am probably the most conservative person in the room. Yet I just wasn't prepared to make that known or be labeled as a conservative. I didn't want to have to explain that I was a Christian, and get further labeled as a "religious conservative". No, I went to Wheaton College and studied sociology there. I am suppose to be well rounded...Christian and firmly rooted in Biblical principles but intellectually open-minded and willing to discuss the difficult issues. Integration of faith and learning. I am not conservative, not at Wheaton. I liked to think of myself as moderate and that it depends on the issue. And most importantly, I didn't want to have to tell them that I am a Christian and that I believe pornography is wrong, but it's something that I and many other Christians continue to struggle with (yes, I said it). I didn't want to sound like a hypocrite, and I didn't want to explain my reasons.
To make the not-so-long story shorter...I ended up saying that I was against porn, and someone asked why I was against it. I said I am a Christian. And that was that. No one said anything more, and I guess I was entitled to my opinion just like they all are. But I don't know, maybe I got labeled tonight, or maybe I was labeled couple classes ago but I just didn't know it. Or maybe there was no label at all. I might find out in the coming weeks, or I might never found out.
But I know that tonight, I experienced a tiny bit of what it meant to defend my faith. Of course no one really challenged me, so didn't really need to "defend" it. But I did have to say I believe in something that seemed unpopular or counter-cultural because of my faith. It wasn't hard, but it wasn't easy either. I cared what other people would think of me if I claimed to be a Christian, and I cared how it might label me as something that I am but I hoped and thought I wasn't.
I felt ashamed of the Gospel, because I didn't want to claim it and consequently show my own brokenness and desperate need for it. They wouldn't understand...was my thought.
And they probably don't understand, or maybe they do. I don't know. But if...just if I was labeled tonight as something because of what I said. Maybe, hopefully, there will be times in class that I can talk as a Christian by say things that they didn't expect "Christians" to say. Maybe, just maybe, they can start to understand that those labels aren't that accurate anyways. Maybe there are some Christians who don't say or do the stereotypical Christian things. Maybe it will change even a tiny bit of their understanding of the Gospel.
Maybe I need to understand and come to terms with my brokenness so that I can truly embrace the Gospel in more profound ways, so that there is no shame to claim the Gospel of Christ. I need to learn that I would rather relabeled as a Christian, a follower of Christ, than to pass off as someone else.
LORD have mercy on me that I may live without shame for your Gospel.
That I may follow the Apostle Paul when he said, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."
That you would grant me grace to boldly claim the name of your Son before men and women.
Sunday, February 21, 2010
An Optimist's view on the future of Wheaton College
Somethings I miss about Wheaton are the hot discussion topics that spread like wild fire through Saga, the brick paths, the hallways, Buswell, and the dorm rooms in the wee hours of the morning. Although I am not there right now, but I can imagine the topic that's been on people's minds and on their lips: the new president.
I woke up from an early evening nap yesterday only to find that I had a missed call on my cell phone from a friend who wanted to inform me that the Board of Trustees had selected "a reformed, Calvinist, complimentarian conservative" as the next president of Wheaton College. The general consensus (n=2) I've gotten so far has been one of disappointment and let down. I think most of us were hoping for a thoughtful, academic, open-minded president who's approachable, not afraid to ask the hard questions, able to understand and appreciate different opinions, and who can take Wheaton to places that we only dared to imagine during our time there. I confess, I hadn't thought too much about it, but in the back of my mind, I think I wanted someone like that to be the next president as well.
Instead, we feel somewhat betrayed after the trustees actively dialogued with members of the faculty and hopes were high that this time around the voices of the students and the faculty will be heard at last. We were given someone who on paper, as it seemed, had most of the same credentials as his predecessor. For the College, the faculty, and the future students, we fear the worst that Wheaton might falter in its commitment to providing an Ivy-league level education that integrates intellectual rigor with passion and faith for Jesus. We fear that the Wheaton that had pushed students to ask the difficult questions, dreamed God-size dreams, and burned for the cause of the Kingdom, will be lost and replaced with a Wheaton that is more rigid, sees the world only in black and white, right or wrong, Republican or Democrat, or you name it. I share that fear as well.
However, I also believe that God is at work in Wheaton College. He's actively changing and shaping lives for His purposes there. Ulimately, Wheaton isn't "For Christ and His Kingdom" because of the sign that sits at the corner of College Ave and Washington, nor because of the special hymn sung by the entire campus at the beginning of each school year. It's not even because Jonathan Blanchard said so, or the Board of Trustees, or the president. I believe that Wheaton has been sanctified and set apart for that purpose by God's providence, and every single event that happens there does not go without His knowledge and will. Each person that comes and goes to and from Wheaton is brought there by the purposes of God. I for one can say that I totally wasn't planning on going to Wheaton, but ended up spending four profoundly important years of my life there.
All being said, while the new president isn't quite our choice, I think that the trustees could not have elected the new president if he wasn't God's choice first. It was interesting for me to learn that the last time around, the trustees had handpicked someone who they thought would keep college more in line. However, it's arguable whether they achieved their purpose. Rather, it seems that rest of the College have to some extent gone even more in the other direction, despite their precautions. I am thankful that God's agenda for Wheaton College comes through ultimately despite human planning and decisions.
Furthermore, I think we who are in the ranks of Wheaton's alumni are called to support the new president to the best of our abilities, whether we fully agree with him or not on every single issue, so long as he sincerely seeks God's agenda for the College and carries them out to the best of his abilities. I think we've gotta work with God and his agenda, or we will soon find that He's working around us, and we miss out on being a part of God's awesome plan.
I woke up from an early evening nap yesterday only to find that I had a missed call on my cell phone from a friend who wanted to inform me that the Board of Trustees had selected "a reformed, Calvinist, complimentarian conservative" as the next president of Wheaton College. The general consensus (n=2) I've gotten so far has been one of disappointment and let down. I think most of us were hoping for a thoughtful, academic, open-minded president who's approachable, not afraid to ask the hard questions, able to understand and appreciate different opinions, and who can take Wheaton to places that we only dared to imagine during our time there. I confess, I hadn't thought too much about it, but in the back of my mind, I think I wanted someone like that to be the next president as well.
Instead, we feel somewhat betrayed after the trustees actively dialogued with members of the faculty and hopes were high that this time around the voices of the students and the faculty will be heard at last. We were given someone who on paper, as it seemed, had most of the same credentials as his predecessor. For the College, the faculty, and the future students, we fear the worst that Wheaton might falter in its commitment to providing an Ivy-league level education that integrates intellectual rigor with passion and faith for Jesus. We fear that the Wheaton that had pushed students to ask the difficult questions, dreamed God-size dreams, and burned for the cause of the Kingdom, will be lost and replaced with a Wheaton that is more rigid, sees the world only in black and white, right or wrong, Republican or Democrat, or you name it. I share that fear as well.
However, I also believe that God is at work in Wheaton College. He's actively changing and shaping lives for His purposes there. Ulimately, Wheaton isn't "For Christ and His Kingdom" because of the sign that sits at the corner of College Ave and Washington, nor because of the special hymn sung by the entire campus at the beginning of each school year. It's not even because Jonathan Blanchard said so, or the Board of Trustees, or the president. I believe that Wheaton has been sanctified and set apart for that purpose by God's providence, and every single event that happens there does not go without His knowledge and will. Each person that comes and goes to and from Wheaton is brought there by the purposes of God. I for one can say that I totally wasn't planning on going to Wheaton, but ended up spending four profoundly important years of my life there.
All being said, while the new president isn't quite our choice, I think that the trustees could not have elected the new president if he wasn't God's choice first. It was interesting for me to learn that the last time around, the trustees had handpicked someone who they thought would keep college more in line. However, it's arguable whether they achieved their purpose. Rather, it seems that rest of the College have to some extent gone even more in the other direction, despite their precautions. I am thankful that God's agenda for Wheaton College comes through ultimately despite human planning and decisions.
Furthermore, I think we who are in the ranks of Wheaton's alumni are called to support the new president to the best of our abilities, whether we fully agree with him or not on every single issue, so long as he sincerely seeks God's agenda for the College and carries them out to the best of his abilities. I think we've gotta work with God and his agenda, or we will soon find that He's working around us, and we miss out on being a part of God's awesome plan.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Lent
My church, National Community, has launched the From Garden to City project where it challenges the entire congregation to read the Bible through from cover to cover in one year starting Lent 2010. The challenge consists of a reading plan with the weekly sermons corresponding to the reading for that week. Also, by putting your name down and committing to the challenge, the pastors in the church will also be praying for you by name.
Being the bandwagon type that I am, I naturally signed up for the challenge. I know that I will fail constantly throughout this year, and I am not setting myself up for failure by thinking this. Rather, I know that there will be days I will forget, don't feel like doing it, decide to do something instead of being faithful, but I will not let that stop my from trying and trying again.
Anyways, I am hopeful and excited about the journey. I don't know if it's the power of being prayer for by name, or reading the Bible along with hundreds of other people, but I feel a new energy and a new perspective on my approach. I am trying to pick out one maybe two things that stands out to me, so that I can kind of memorize it and keep it in the back of my mind to be recalled throughout the day. It could be a promise, an exhortation, a command, a warning, or whatever. Maybe this is something I should've done a long time ago, and other people have been doing. But it's never too late to start.
Tonight I read Job 1-3 and the words of Job struck a chord.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised.
Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?
Job understood the secret to contentment, and I am convinced it's also one of the secrets of life.
Don't ever take ANYTHING for granted. Job didn't take his wealth, his children, nor his own life for granted, so much so that when it was all taken away so that it was better for him to die than to live (according to his wife), he did not "sin by charging God with wrongdoing."That's real contentment right there; the hard realization that I never deserved anything, not my money, my education, my family, nor my life. None of it was a result of my own merit, but of God's grace through His love and providence. If it wasn't for His grace and mercy, I would not be here writing this blog post right now. I could be back in Taiwan serving in the military (which isn't that bad, really), I could be picking up trash in the landfills of some third world country, I could be one of those children born HIV positive in Sub-Saharan Africa who will most likely not live past 14, or I could have simply not been born at all. I am not saying we need to compare ourselves to someone less fortunate than us, and then we can be content. On the contrary, I mean that we need to realize the fact that I am no different from everybody else despite the fact that they may seem less fortunate than me. I am where I am today, simply because of God's perfect will, and if tomorrow something bad befalls me, it also happened for the same reason. Job understood that, and so he was able to continue to utter praise to the LORD and accept trouble from Him. May I learn from Job the lesson of never taking anything for granted.
Being the bandwagon type that I am, I naturally signed up for the challenge. I know that I will fail constantly throughout this year, and I am not setting myself up for failure by thinking this. Rather, I know that there will be days I will forget, don't feel like doing it, decide to do something instead of being faithful, but I will not let that stop my from trying and trying again.
Anyways, I am hopeful and excited about the journey. I don't know if it's the power of being prayer for by name, or reading the Bible along with hundreds of other people, but I feel a new energy and a new perspective on my approach. I am trying to pick out one maybe two things that stands out to me, so that I can kind of memorize it and keep it in the back of my mind to be recalled throughout the day. It could be a promise, an exhortation, a command, a warning, or whatever. Maybe this is something I should've done a long time ago, and other people have been doing. But it's never too late to start.
Tonight I read Job 1-3 and the words of Job struck a chord.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised.
Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?
Job understood the secret to contentment, and I am convinced it's also one of the secrets of life.
Don't ever take ANYTHING for granted. Job didn't take his wealth, his children, nor his own life for granted, so much so that when it was all taken away so that it was better for him to die than to live (according to his wife), he did not "sin by charging God with wrongdoing."That's real contentment right there; the hard realization that I never deserved anything, not my money, my education, my family, nor my life. None of it was a result of my own merit, but of God's grace through His love and providence. If it wasn't for His grace and mercy, I would not be here writing this blog post right now. I could be back in Taiwan serving in the military (which isn't that bad, really), I could be picking up trash in the landfills of some third world country, I could be one of those children born HIV positive in Sub-Saharan Africa who will most likely not live past 14, or I could have simply not been born at all. I am not saying we need to compare ourselves to someone less fortunate than us, and then we can be content. On the contrary, I mean that we need to realize the fact that I am no different from everybody else despite the fact that they may seem less fortunate than me. I am where I am today, simply because of God's perfect will, and if tomorrow something bad befalls me, it also happened for the same reason. Job understood that, and so he was able to continue to utter praise to the LORD and accept trouble from Him. May I learn from Job the lesson of never taking anything for granted.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Dealing with disappointment
Disappointment feels like you’ve been robbed.
Robbed of something that you thought was yours, but you never really had it in the first place. It’s a dull knife that jaggedly cuts down your highest hopes and expectations, and then proceeds to unevenly scrape off what was left. Slowly and bit by bit.
Disappointment creates a vacuum.
A black hole that sucks the life and motivation out of your day. It leaves you empty, a void. It exposes you and leaves you vulnerable to the worst of yourself. Wearing you away with anger, frustration, discontentment, and self-pity.
Disappointment makes it seem like a waste of time.
All that you’ve invested: my time, energy, thoughts, hopes, fears, and money. All of it wasted. “Why had I bothered in the first place?” it makes you wonder and question, “Things shouldn’t have turned out this way.”
But disappointment is an opportunity to trust.
After all the pain and the questions; after they are let go, you can trust. Trust the One that you were too afraid to trust before.
I once heard these words:
God, in His wisdom, knows what is best for me.
God, in His love, desires what is best for me.
And God, in His power, will do what is best for me.
These words ring ever truer in the face of disappointments, the let down that comes with being a fallen being living in a fallen world.
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassion never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
Robbed of something that you thought was yours, but you never really had it in the first place. It’s a dull knife that jaggedly cuts down your highest hopes and expectations, and then proceeds to unevenly scrape off what was left. Slowly and bit by bit.
Disappointment creates a vacuum.
A black hole that sucks the life and motivation out of your day. It leaves you empty, a void. It exposes you and leaves you vulnerable to the worst of yourself. Wearing you away with anger, frustration, discontentment, and self-pity.
Disappointment makes it seem like a waste of time.
All that you’ve invested: my time, energy, thoughts, hopes, fears, and money. All of it wasted. “Why had I bothered in the first place?” it makes you wonder and question, “Things shouldn’t have turned out this way.”
But disappointment is an opportunity to trust.
After all the pain and the questions; after they are let go, you can trust. Trust the One that you were too afraid to trust before.
I once heard these words:
God, in His wisdom, knows what is best for me.
God, in His love, desires what is best for me.
And God, in His power, will do what is best for me.
These words ring ever truer in the face of disappointments, the let down that comes with being a fallen being living in a fallen world.
Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassion never fail.
They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.
I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”
The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;
it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
Monday, January 25, 2010
"Tomorrow is canceled"
Tonight, I was telling a friend on-line that my class tomorrow got canceled, and she thought I said "tomorrow got canceled." Which got me thinking...
What would happen to my life, my routines, my plans if tomorrow was canceled? What would happen if a whole 24 hours was taken from me?
Well for starters, I'd be screwed for the class discussion on the Yuan Shih-Kai Presidency that I was suppose to lead the day after tomorrow. I was planning on using tomorrow to finish all the assigned readings and conjure up a fine looking list of discussion questions. Instead, I will have to squeeze that all in tonight. Tomorrow was suppose to be my day off from my internship. Now that it is canceled, I will have to wake up early and go to work on top of preparing for my class discussions. If tomorrow was canceled, I would miss out on the meeting with Paulo Pinheiro on protecting children from violence. I also would not be able to get that haircut that I was planning to get.
Enough about me. What about other people? If tomorrow got canceled, how will it affect them? For President Obama and the person writing his State of the Union Address, they would be in trouble. I read that it was still being written, but all of the sudden the speech needs to be ready. What about people who were suppose to be married tomorrow? Or born? Well, too bad for them. Gotta skip that part.
It's ridiculous isn't it? Thinking about tomorrow being canceled. But how often do I live today wishing that tomorrow was canceled because of something that was happening that I've been dreading? Something that I don't want to deal with? Some ordeal that I would rather skip over and move on to the next day?
Or worst, how often do I live in such a way that tomorrow gets canceled. An hour wasted on Facebook, an afternoon idled away doing pointless things. Plans get postponed, tasks get bumped back, appointments are rescheduled. Soon days, weeks, months, or even years of my life...all wasted or canceled.
Someone wise once said something along the lines of "Live today as if you are going to die tomorrow." I don't think that means we go out, party hard, and try to do all those things we've always wanted to do before we die within a 24 hour period. Rather, I think it means make today count and live it to its full potential. Don't worry about what will happen tomorrow, nor count on it to make up for time wasted today. Every person, no matter who you are, is given the same 24 hours each day, but how we spend it depends much on our attitude of tomorrow, or more importantly, our attitude on life. Do I live today wishing tomorrow was canceled? Or as if it was already canceled? Or can I live today with a sense of purpose and fulfillment so that it doesn't matter if I die tomorrow or if tomorrow got canceled?
What would happen to my life, my routines, my plans if tomorrow was canceled? What would happen if a whole 24 hours was taken from me?
Well for starters, I'd be screwed for the class discussion on the Yuan Shih-Kai Presidency that I was suppose to lead the day after tomorrow. I was planning on using tomorrow to finish all the assigned readings and conjure up a fine looking list of discussion questions. Instead, I will have to squeeze that all in tonight. Tomorrow was suppose to be my day off from my internship. Now that it is canceled, I will have to wake up early and go to work on top of preparing for my class discussions. If tomorrow was canceled, I would miss out on the meeting with Paulo Pinheiro on protecting children from violence. I also would not be able to get that haircut that I was planning to get.
Enough about me. What about other people? If tomorrow got canceled, how will it affect them? For President Obama and the person writing his State of the Union Address, they would be in trouble. I read that it was still being written, but all of the sudden the speech needs to be ready. What about people who were suppose to be married tomorrow? Or born? Well, too bad for them. Gotta skip that part.
It's ridiculous isn't it? Thinking about tomorrow being canceled. But how often do I live today wishing that tomorrow was canceled because of something that was happening that I've been dreading? Something that I don't want to deal with? Some ordeal that I would rather skip over and move on to the next day?
Or worst, how often do I live in such a way that tomorrow gets canceled. An hour wasted on Facebook, an afternoon idled away doing pointless things. Plans get postponed, tasks get bumped back, appointments are rescheduled. Soon days, weeks, months, or even years of my life...all wasted or canceled.
Someone wise once said something along the lines of "Live today as if you are going to die tomorrow." I don't think that means we go out, party hard, and try to do all those things we've always wanted to do before we die within a 24 hour period. Rather, I think it means make today count and live it to its full potential. Don't worry about what will happen tomorrow, nor count on it to make up for time wasted today. Every person, no matter who you are, is given the same 24 hours each day, but how we spend it depends much on our attitude of tomorrow, or more importantly, our attitude on life. Do I live today wishing tomorrow was canceled? Or as if it was already canceled? Or can I live today with a sense of purpose and fulfillment so that it doesn't matter if I die tomorrow or if tomorrow got canceled?
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Did You Eat Yet?
I've come to notice the presence of a common greeting in Chinese culture, and I am told that other East Asian cultures also possess greetings of similar nature.
The greeting that I am referring to is "Did You Eat Yet?"
Oftentimes when I call my parents, if it is within one or two hours of regular meal times (roughly between 11 and 2 for lunch and 5-8 for dinner), I would usually ask them, "Did you eat yet?" It would be used instead of the more American counterparts such as "How's it going?" or "What's up?" Family members, friends, business associates, and many other people will ask each other "Did you eat yet?" when they meet each other.
To the Chinese mind (at least mine), this phrase can be considered a vivid representation of the passionate yet restrained affection Chinese people have for each other. To ask someone “Did you eat yet?” is to inquire whether life has been prosperous and good. Underneath the surface of this simple interrogative we find a recurring narrative that rings through China’s ancient history as well as the hearts of its people.
“The first priority of the people is food,” goes the Chinese proverb. Food is not only tied to the people’s survival, but also their morale, prosperity, and contentment. Historically, the reign of notorious tyrants is accompanied by wide spread famine and disease, which eventually leads to invasion, war, rebellion, and chaos. On the other hand, when rulers reign justly and provide a sound social structure in which the people can live (their bellies full and the hearts happy), there is peace and prosperity. Not only do people with full belly mean adequate nourishment, it also implies a general sense of personal wellbeing as well as the overall welfare of the entire nation. By inquiring whether someone has eaten yet, you are asking not simply did he or she have a meal, but also whether they have been living a happy and prosperous life.
Today in this modern, fast-paced, individualized society of ours, there are accusations of a loss of authenticity against people who greet each other in passing without really caring or wanting to know how the other person is doing. We no longer care, because in the world of the American Dream, our individual lives are no longer dependent on the whit and whims of a single person. If you’re not doing well, that implies an inherent error within your existence and the way you live your life. Therefore, rather than deeply caring for the someone’s troubles because it is a experience that we share in common, we cease to care to hear about the misfortunes of others because it is the disease of failure that we want to dissociate ourselves with.
As people who are called to bare the burdens of others, we need to counteract the tendency to brush off other people’s lives and judge them by the condition that they are in. Instead, we must understand that our lives are often in shambles due to reasons beyond our own control, and that the fabled American Dream is a dream and not truth. Let us relearn how to deeply care for our brothers and sisters who so desperately need our attention. Let us remember that we are not simply individuals along in this world in control of our own fates, but we are all vessels of God’s love and so intimately tied together in His plan that when someone suffers all suffers. And when someone goes hungry, that should mean to us just as it does in Chinese culture a deep set injustice within our social structure so that even a person’s basic need of sustenance is denied. And when we come to that point, God grant us the grace to stand up and fight against the structures that perpetuate those injustices.
The greeting that I am referring to is "Did You Eat Yet?"
Oftentimes when I call my parents, if it is within one or two hours of regular meal times (roughly between 11 and 2 for lunch and 5-8 for dinner), I would usually ask them, "Did you eat yet?" It would be used instead of the more American counterparts such as "How's it going?" or "What's up?" Family members, friends, business associates, and many other people will ask each other "Did you eat yet?" when they meet each other.
To the Chinese mind (at least mine), this phrase can be considered a vivid representation of the passionate yet restrained affection Chinese people have for each other. To ask someone “Did you eat yet?” is to inquire whether life has been prosperous and good. Underneath the surface of this simple interrogative we find a recurring narrative that rings through China’s ancient history as well as the hearts of its people.
“The first priority of the people is food,” goes the Chinese proverb. Food is not only tied to the people’s survival, but also their morale, prosperity, and contentment. Historically, the reign of notorious tyrants is accompanied by wide spread famine and disease, which eventually leads to invasion, war, rebellion, and chaos. On the other hand, when rulers reign justly and provide a sound social structure in which the people can live (their bellies full and the hearts happy), there is peace and prosperity. Not only do people with full belly mean adequate nourishment, it also implies a general sense of personal wellbeing as well as the overall welfare of the entire nation. By inquiring whether someone has eaten yet, you are asking not simply did he or she have a meal, but also whether they have been living a happy and prosperous life.
Today in this modern, fast-paced, individualized society of ours, there are accusations of a loss of authenticity against people who greet each other in passing without really caring or wanting to know how the other person is doing. We no longer care, because in the world of the American Dream, our individual lives are no longer dependent on the whit and whims of a single person. If you’re not doing well, that implies an inherent error within your existence and the way you live your life. Therefore, rather than deeply caring for the someone’s troubles because it is a experience that we share in common, we cease to care to hear about the misfortunes of others because it is the disease of failure that we want to dissociate ourselves with.
As people who are called to bare the burdens of others, we need to counteract the tendency to brush off other people’s lives and judge them by the condition that they are in. Instead, we must understand that our lives are often in shambles due to reasons beyond our own control, and that the fabled American Dream is a dream and not truth. Let us relearn how to deeply care for our brothers and sisters who so desperately need our attention. Let us remember that we are not simply individuals along in this world in control of our own fates, but we are all vessels of God’s love and so intimately tied together in His plan that when someone suffers all suffers. And when someone goes hungry, that should mean to us just as it does in Chinese culture a deep set injustice within our social structure so that even a person’s basic need of sustenance is denied. And when we come to that point, God grant us the grace to stand up and fight against the structures that perpetuate those injustices.
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